A Day in the Life of
by lilias
Summary: crookshanks's and pigwideon's POV, now it's trevor's turn. find out really why Neville keeps losing him.
1. crookshanks

Pigwidieon  
  
The sun is setting, painting the sky a brilliant color. Even from my little house I can feel the cool night breeze. My stomach growls. I can hear the crickets chirping and the sound is as inviting as a dinner bell. Why hasn't anyone let me out yet?  
  
"Let me out, let me out," I sing and I do have a very pretty voice. I open my beak wide and sing. Little spotty face comes covering her ears. Only a few recognize my special talents. The ghoul upstairs sings too. We make a nice duet.  
  
"A little owl and he came riding uh hum, a ho, a little owl and he came riding." I beat my wings in time.  
  
"Shh." Little Spotty hisses. I sing louder. Grumbling, she opens a drawer and pulls out a canister. I know that canister. It's filled with treats. She takes out one. Yummy, crunchy brown biscuit tasting like little mice. They even run and squeak like mice. Spreading my wings wide, I open my beak.  
  
"Give me, give me." I demand. Little spotty face smiles, showing big white stones in her mouth. Why does she have stones in her mouth? Why does she have soft skin and flesh instead of a real beak? Never mind, give treat! I hop anxiously.  
  
She teases, her long pink fleshy talons swing it back and forth just out of reach. I hop and jump and whiz about, but the stupid house stops me. It's rock, black slender rock in thin twigs forming a hut.  
  
"Give me, give." I hop and flutter around the cage. She giggles. Mean human! I give up. Putting my wings down, I bury my head in my feathers and shiver. I peep pathetically. There are scraping sounds as the house opens and in an instant I fly out. "Free. I'm free." I crow. She tosses the treat high high in the air.  
  
Flapping hard I chase it. It falls and I fall too. Closer and closer and closer, I nab the owl treat and swing out my wings. Oh no! I'm too close. I flap desperately, but it's too late. I hit the fake fuzzy grass with a thud and a bounce. My head spins, but I get up. I'm cool, I'm al right. I didn't do anything stupid. You didn't see anything, right? Little Spotty grabs me and pets me.  
  
"Are you alright, Pig?" She whispers, squeezing me.  
  
"I'm all right, leave me alone," I snap. She doesn't understand though, humans are too stupid.  
  
She gives me another owl treat and pets me. It feels pretty good. I clack my beak, she gives me another one. She opens my house again, ready to put me back. No, I was just starting to enjoy this. Hey, hey! I think my wing is broken. It was always bent like that, but who cares. Maybe it was always broken. Ow, can't you see my wing is broken, you stupid human. See! I hold it out so Little Spotty can see. I let out a thin warbling cry. I hop and stumble. I'm quite an accomplished actor you know.  
  
"Ahh!" I cry.  
  
She takes me out again and cuddles me, murmuring softly. She gives me another owl treat. Then she opens the window. I can see the crickets in grass like a sort of moving buffet table. Forgetting about the wing, I dive. Snarling a fat juicy cricket, I take it to a nearby tree to enjoy. After I'm full. I fly back through the window. Spotty, little spotty's brother, is waiting. He grumbles about how long I took. He places my back into the cage. I puff up my feathers while sitting in my roost. Outside, it is twilight and the day will begin in a few minutes, but for me it's bedtime. I curl up deep in my next and close my eyes full and happy. This is the life. 


	2. pigwideon

"Let me out, let me out," I sing and I do have a very pretty voice. I open my beak wide and sing. Little spotty face comes covering her ears. Only a few recognize my special talents. The ghoul upstairs sings too. We make a nice duet. "A little owl and he came riding uh hum, a ho, a little owl and he came riding…" Little Spotty takes out a treat. Yummy, crunchy brown biscuit tasting like little mice. Spreading my wings wide, I open my beak. "Give me, give me." Little spotty face smiles, showing big white stones in her mouth. Why does she have stones in her mouth? Why does she have soft skin and flesh instead of a real beak? Never mind, give treat!  
  
She teases, her long pink fleshy talons swing it back and forth. I hop and jump and whiz about, but the stupid house stops me. It's rock, black slender rock in thin twigs forming a hut. "Give me, give." She giggles. Mean human! I put my wings down and bury my head in my feathers. There are scraping sounds as the house opens and I fly out. She tosses the treat high high in the air.  
  
Flapping hard I chase it. It falls and I fall too. Closer and closer and closer, I nab the owl treat and swing out my wings. Oh no! I'm too close, I hit the fake fuzzy grass with a thud. My head spins, but I get up. I'm cool, I'm alright. I didn't do anything stupid. You didn't see anything, right? Little Spotty grabs me and pets me. I'm all right, leave me alone, I snap. She doesn't understand though, humans are too stupid.  
  
She gives me another owl treat and pets me. It feels pretty good. I clack my beak, she gives me another one. She opens my house again, ready to put me back. No, I was just starting to enjoy this. Hey, hey! I think my wing is broken. It was always bent like that, but who cares. Maybe it was always broken. Ow, can't you see my wing is broken, you stupid human. See! I hold it out so Little Spotty can see. I let out a cry. I'm quite an accomplished actor you know. "Ahh!"  
  
She takes me out again and cuddles me, murmuring softly. She gives me another owl treat. This is the life. 


	3. Trevor the Toad

A Day in the Life of Trevor the Toad  
  
Trevor woke up just as a lumbering giant stumbles toward him. Trevor has been stuck in his cage for a week since trying to eat the Mimbulus mimbletonia. You couldn't blame a toad for being curious and if Trevor had been a cat he probably would have eaten himself, because cats like to eat toads (not that this really has any relevance to the story. The point was that Trevor was an excruciatingly curious.)  
  
If Trevor believed in Buddhism, he would have been the great Muggle escape artist Houdini in his previous life. But in fact, Trevor was a devout Catholic who prayed often and tried to convert people even more than he prayed. Right then, he bowed and thanked God before gobbling down the dead flies that the bumbling giant stuffed clumsily into the cage. Trevor pitied the poor fellow, but it didn't stop him from escaping as soon as the oaf's back was turned.  
  
Wriggling out of the bars, he wrestled his way out of the tiny hole in the corner of the trunk. On the trunk was an assortment of plants, but Trevor couldn't stop and be tempted now, he had animals to convert.  
  
Ribbeting, he bounced his way down to the Girl's Dormitory. Now how did Trevor become a devout Catholic in a Wizarding family? Well, once upon a time the bumbling oaf was slept over at a Muggle friend's house who had a TV. Trevor had breathlessly watched an hour of religious television and he had been changed.  
  
In the dormitory, he found a white rabbit and began to preach the wonders of Bye Bull. At first, he had thought that it was the tragic story about an ox leaving home, but now he understood. It was a marvelous book about religion, not that he ever read any of it. He couldn't read. Trevor was just beginning to get warmed up about the duties of being a good pet, no the best pet, so when the world flooded you would be one of the two animals that would be saved. It was then that he realized that attentive rabbit was none other than a stuffed toy.  
  
Bristling, he moved on to the next animal, a hamster in a cage which was unfortunately asleep. Several hours later, he had talked to five other animals, two owls, a cat, and two rats. The cats had laughed him off and threatened to eat him if he continued this mumbo jumbo. The owls had listened thoughtfully and decided that they had to discuss this matter between themselves. Only one rat had become a follower.  
  
Suddenly, a hand grabbed him. It was a demon with bushy hair. Was he in the lion's den? He began to pray earnestly and soon an angel appeared. A beautiful, brown haired angel who delivered him.. Like John's the Baptist's head on a platter back into the oaf's hands.  
  
Feeling truly happy as he was put back into his cage, the hole in the trunk plugged, he lay on the sand of his cage dreamily. Tomorrow. tomorrow, he would try again.  
  
Author's Note: This is supposed to be humor. Catholics, please do not harm me. Remember Trevor is just a toad.  
  
Now for a limited time: Hegwig's conversation with Trevor. Have you ever noticed that J. K. Rowling likes H names? Harry, Hermione, Hogwarts, Hogsmead, Hogshead, Hedwig, Hagrid  
  
She also likes D words: Diggory, Dumbledore, Dursleys, Dudley, Draco  
  
And S words: Sirius, Severus, Snape, Seamus,  
  
And R words: Remus, Madame Rosmerta, Ron, Rubeus (Hagrid's first name)  
  
But now back to the conversation.  
  
"Do you think God is angry with me?" demanded Trevor one day while he was visiting the owlery.  
  
"Why would God be angry with you?" Hegwig ruffled her feathers, dismissive.  
  
"You believe in God?" Trevor was astounded.  
  
"No, I'm humoring you." The toad visually drooped.  
  
"Well, I think God is mad at me, because I'm not spreading his word," Trevor added, "and I hate people." Thinking about the time that the oaf had forgotten to feed him. "I shouldn't hate people. And I have bad thoughts and do bad things."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Like hanging with you, Miss Nosy. " Trevor said cheekily.  
  
"What part of "Love your neighbor as yourself" do you not understand?" Hedwig snapped her beak.  
  
"You're not my neighbor."  
  
That's besides the point.  
  
"Why can't I have an ideological conversation with you?" Trevor asked.  
  
"Cause you're so immature." With that, Hedwig snapped up the toad in her beak and swallowed. (J/K. Actually, she just flew away.) She flew away.  
  
"Okay, let's try again later," Trevor called hopefully. 


End file.
